So I broke the cardinal rule of drinking/cellphone etiquette Friday. I legitimately drunk dialed a guy I have been talking to and then proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation, none of which I remember. Texted him the next day saying sorry if I said anything ridiculous I was a little drunk. No response. Lovely.
I've taken to my friends for advice on wtf I should do and they reassured me it happens a lot and if he's not writing back, f him. I appreciate their advice, but this behavior is not like me. I don't know what came over me to call him. but I did. What I said, I do not know. In my judgmental head, I am thinking I drunkenly told him I liked him, wanna see him, totally freaking him out.
My bottom line is, when you do something to compromise yourself and feel embarrassed about your actions, how do you recover? I know to most, this doesn't seem like a major issue, and it isn't. For me, this guy doesn't know me very well yet, and whatever I spewed out at 1230 at night to him, right now I am thinking the worst.
I keep telling myself, he's not worth it if he hasn't given me piece of mind about it. It just sucks that I need him to feel this piece of mind. To be blunt, I am pretty sure I blew it, even if what I said wasn't bad.
Upon this recent flub on my part, I am swearing off the alcohol for a while. I don't drink too much to begin with, but REALLY with calling the guy you like DRUNK and NOT REMEMBERING? Not one of my proudest moments. I can't say the past is in the past, because it's still gripping me presently....
One day, with the right person, I won't feel this overwhelming fear of the unknown; Resulting to calling him drunk to gain clarity, thus in the end making everything more complex than before. I am sick of this crap.
Oh Happy Mothereffin Valentines.
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