It's a quarter after 12, I'm a little drunk & yeaaaaa......

So I broke the cardinal rule of drinking/cellphone etiquette Friday. I legitimately drunk dialed a guy I have been talking to and then proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation, none of which I remember. Texted him the next day saying sorry if I said anything ridiculous I was a little drunk. No response. Lovely.

I've taken to my friends for advice on wtf I should do and they reassured me it happens a lot and if he's not writing back, f him. I appreciate their advice, but this behavior is not like me. I don't know what came over me to call him. but I did. What I said, I do not know. In my judgmental head, I am thinking I drunkenly told him I liked him, wanna see him, totally freaking him out.

My bottom line is, when you do something to compromise yourself and feel embarrassed about your actions, how do you recover? I know to most, this doesn't seem like a major issue, and it isn't. For me, this guy doesn't know me very well yet, and whatever I spewed out at 1230 at night to him, right now I am thinking the worst.

I keep telling myself, he's not worth it if he hasn't given me piece of mind about it. It just sucks that I need him to feel this piece of mind. To be blunt, I am pretty sure I blew it, even if what I said wasn't bad.

Upon this recent flub on my part, I am swearing off the alcohol for a while. I don't drink too much to begin with, but REALLY with calling the guy you like DRUNK and NOT REMEMBERING? Not one of my proudest moments. I can't say the past is in the past, because it's still gripping me presently....

One day, with the right person, I won't feel this overwhelming fear of the unknown; Resulting to calling him drunk to gain clarity, thus in the end making everything more complex than before. I am sick of this crap.

Oh Happy Mothereffin Valentines.

I owe it to Boston

Not the city, the band....

I ran the farthest I ever have ran yesterday....3 miles! haha... It may have been like 3.1 because I accidentally yanked out the emergency stop bottom but I was def. at the 3 miles marker, in 31 minutes! Mind you, I just started running like a month ago, so yeah, I am no speed demon yet.

I am curious to know, what thoughts run through your heads at those moments when you are running and you actually feel like you are ready to stop? I try to clear my head, but I feel like my thoughts chatter too much....then sometimes, this magical goodness happens....

Cue Boston's, Long Time.....



(at 2:32 seconds it gets good)

It came on mid run and I cranked that shizz up and ran...and ran... and ran... and my groin muscle did not hurt once. I was done and told my sister and almost literally cried. I went from being scared to running a mile to running 3 in a not to shabby time. Whoohoo... not gonna lie, I was so beat/red in the face when it was over.

After the run, I worked out my shoulders, legs and a little abs then did 30 mins on the elliptical to stretch my muscles...

It's one small step for me, and one huge hurdle I have jumped over. Everything has been crazy lately and it felt good to have something like this to be happy about.

Last night, after the gym, I was the DD for my friends and boy was it an interesting evening to say the least, but I won't go into the scandalous details. All I know is I have ridiculous friends and whiskey is the devil.

Today I made homemade cupcakes for my friend Daryl's dinner-gathering/party/delicious food fest. I used Ina Garten's Flower Cupcakes Recipe and at one point forgot to add the cream cheese to the frosting AND forgot to turn the oven on for the second batch. I was laughing at myself throughout it all. They turned out delish though.

I also realized a lot of my friends are having all these tumultuous changes, like one is pregnant the other is graduating, one has boyfriend issues, one lost her job. I feel like I am itching for something earth shaking to occur so I get jostled out of my comfort zone. NOT meaning getting pregnant, or loosing a job, & I already graduated.......

More like...... it's been like 5 years since my last serious boyfriend, and I kind of want my dream man to walk into my life right about now.... These flaky guys I have been dealing with lately are not cutting it an I am loosing hope, fast. So get here. Thanks. (cue Boston again)....

"Well Im takin my time, Im just movin along........."