It's Ugly Out There

EDIT UPDATE - Scroll down!!



It's time for me to actually get out there and meet people.



After a break up, it's natural to hibernate a bit. I'm dipping my toe in the online dating pool, but it's pretty depressing.



I'm turning 40 this year and when I look at the available 40 year old men - I really regret having saved myself for some crusty old fart! (I know, I'm sorry!)



When I was a kid, it seemed 40 was the kiss of death for women - but nowadays - let's face it, 40+ women look fantastic. (Sandra Bullock, Kelly Ripa, Sarah Jessica Parker, Madonna, Halle Berry)

My girlfriends all look fantastic too! And it's not all about genetics, about being blessed with good looks - they work to look this good. It's called being fit. (actually, I am lucky. I don't work out much anymore, but I'm still thin - though I'm not in the shape I'd like to be. And I've always looked at least 4 years younger than my actual age.)



But men my age... yeesh - they look awful! (not all of them of course - but enough for it to be disturbing)



Never mind looks. Charm can easily outweigh looks, but these guys are clueless about pursuing a woman. There is a reason they're single.



I just gotta share this exchange with this guy.



First of all, he posts a picture that doesn't even identify his face (a no-no on dating sites). An obscured face tells me he's cheating on his wife, or otherwise on a dating site in some undercover capacity.



And the fact that the only picture he does post, is all about his physique - which is nice, don't get me wrong - but it suggests that he is only interested in the physical. To be clear, this guy isn't 40 either. They really seem to go downhill the moment they turn 40!



Proceed with caution.



Here's our exchange. It took an entire week to get this far:

Him: just want to say hi

Me: (okay, that's not much to work with but I'll bite.) Hello.

Him: youre a doll

Me: (Hmm, no punctuation. Sloppy.) Yes, well... You're a man of few words it seems.

Him: ah, as are you i see

Me: No. I'm a woman. And I am a talker... writer... very wordy. But you haven't asked me anything.

Him: so you only talk if asked questions? what do you write about?

I guess I've had enough of this... or maybe I'm premenstrual...

Me: Not so much that I only talk if asked questions... but I do expect a man do something that resembles PURSUIT. You know, show some interest. Want to know something about me. Have a desire for me to know something about you.

When a guy says nothing more than "Hi." and only shares one picture that shows more of his muscles than of his face... a woman tends to think he's not so interested in building a relationship. So I sort of need to see some effort on your part. Right now, I get the impression that I'm supposed to be impressed with your body and just get on my back.

Harsh?

Maybe.

I'll admit that I didn't put much hope in the exchange to begin with because he identifies himself as 'non-religious'. That's not a deal-breaker though, because I figure he might still be worth getting to know. That identifier doesn't tell me anything about what he does believe.

Mostly, I'm bothered that he's hiding his face and flaunting his body. Yes, I want to meet a guy in good shape - so now you may accuse me of talking out of both sides of my mouth.

But the site allows you load as many photos as you want - which allows you to show many aspects of your life.

If you choose to only post one - and it's this one - I just can't believe you have intentions toward a real relationship. I'm guessing you only want a physical relationship. And if you back it up with meager communication - I think my suspicions are confirmed.

So, it's time to start getting dressed up and going out. March Madness begins soon. I only need to round up a girlfriend and sit in a sports bar filled with real live, breathing men!

So - Mr Non-Religious Fireman responded back. I quote... verbatim: "ok. no thanks"

ha ha ha ha bwwwwwhaaa ha hah!!!