Melancholy

I don't know what it is about today, but I'm feeling really blah. I think when I get in these modes it usually means I am lacking excitement or newness. I am getting in the grove of the gym but, I don't know. I was looking at pictures of my friends out in CO and I got really sad.... I love my friends here, but I miss Fort Collins. AND HGTV's House Hunters was in Foco last night. Like what? I feel like I NEED to start working and this waiting business is getting old. Money is running out......For those who don't know, I have been in talks with a production company about possibly starting in a position in January if all goes well. BUT still there is a slight possibility it may not. I'm also hoping a possible job pans out from my freelance work in New Orleans. I feel like something is missing though. Also, it could have to do with the fact that I had a dream last night about my ex-boyfriend, who has been popping up in my dreams alot. Bottom line is, I know I don't want to be with him, but he was my only "love". Wow, I need to lay down and have a psychologist talk me through all of this.

Something I watched yesterday DID strike me as true. Kristin Davis (Charlotte from SATC) was on Oprah and was saying how her 20's were miserable. Now, I don't think my 20's are anywhere near miserable. Then Sarah Jessica Parker chimed in and said how to much emphasis in her generation was put on having it all together by age 25, when she said she should've been focusing on new experiences, discoveries and traveling. She feels the set-backs and let-downs that come along with being 20 are nessessary to develop. I guess what she was saying is you won't understand everything until the confusion has passed by....

Some of my friends are focusing on their significant others, others jobs and some just having fun. I'm not sure where I want my focus to be right now.... I am just ready for something challenging to take hold of me, because I'm a restless soul and I need some stirring!

Thanks for listening.... Happy Friday!

P.S. The gym was nice, I did
30 on Elliptical (Level 6 & 7)
biceps, shoulder, tricep machine (3 reps of 12 on each)
leg lifts with 4 pound weight (60)
other random stuff