More or Less

About eight years ago I met the first man I fell in love with. (I was 32)
I had had so many years of dissappointment, of Mr. Maybes, of 'I-like-him-but-I'm-not-excited-about-him' experiences that I had no idea what love might really feel like. So when I met Joki and we shared the excitement of wanting to see each other All. the. Time, not worrying about who called last, or if calling again might seem desperate... and just basking in one another's company, well it was completely new to me.

We were in the same career field (read: neither of us makes much money) which accounted for our similar personality traits and spot on senses of humor.

It didn't last. Due to our religious differences, (he's Jewish, I'm Catholic - and while I knew we could make it work if we decided to - he was set on marrying a Jewish woman. He's engaged now, BTW and she's lovely, Hubble.) we decided not to start something we couldn't finish.

It was the first hardest decision I ever made.
But I took it as a message from God that if He had made one man like Joki - there had to be more!

Soon after, one of my girlfriends came to me trying to justify breaking up with a guy who was 'great' but didn't own his own home, or have a high paying job. These were her chief complaints about the relationship.
To be honest, I thought she was being materialistic... and I told her that if I could have made it work with Joki, I was fully prepared to live with him in my little one-bedroom, 740 square foot condo for the next 40 years if that's all we could ever afford.

She told me that my passionate dissertation on Mr. Right gave her goosebumps, and also made her realize that she wasn't in love with Mr. Not-Rich-Enough.

Then I met Mr. Burns
I thought right away... in the first week that this was the guy I would marry. It was destined.

We talked about how we would live if we ended up together.
I told him once that if I could spend on deep tissue massage, what he spends on golf-- I'd be the happiest, most relaxed woman alive. He said that was definitely do-able.

When I put food away in his french door, stainless-steel fridge - the puny, poor layout of my own fridge seemed woefully inadequate. When we have a house, we must take that fridge with us.
When he brought flowers home to brighten his own condo (never for mine, btw) I dreamed of having a house with a garden so that I could grow my own flowers to decorate our home.

And a job for me? No. I would dabble in photography and try to make babies.

The life I imagined with him had to have more MORE M O R E.
Why?

I started to think that maybe I was wrong about Joki. That I must have been caught up in the giddiness of love - and it made me believe I could do without.

However
Now in the short time I've spent getting to know Jerry/Hugh, I've learned that together, we would have a modest life. And I love the idea.

Yes, I know I'm getting carried away thinking about an uncertain future... I daydream, I'm a girl... so sue me!

He runs his own business, which is a daily struggle to break even. He's told me that he already sees and appreciates that I'm not a materialistic girl, that I don't judge him for not owning a home or condo yet, even though I do own my own.

When I imagine a future with Jerry/Hugh, I imagine renting an apartment with a couple bedrooms and an office in mid-town. No backyard, but a park nearby - no garden but oh well. Monthly massages... I can probably forget about that. I would have to work if I could keep a job (perpetual unemployed girl here...) and maybe work my way into running a portrait business - to which he could contribute his skill-set on the business side of things.

So here I am again
Thinking that I could live on little but love.
Like the life I imagined with Joki.
But not with Mr. Burns. With Mr. Burns, I needed so much filler in my imaginary life.

I could only picture a life with him if I was getting more stuff from him. Probably because I knew I would never experience the love I needed.

Yes, I'm getting carried away thinking about possibilities ~ but the lesson from my day-dreaming is this... I really think I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable. I think if you can see being happy with someone with little, you're probably on the right track.
If you think you can only be happy with someone if you have plenty - there's a message there.

"Dad, Let's Watch Raylan"

I guess blood runs true.  I grew up on cowboys.  John Wayne.  Clint Eastwood.  Those guys:  tough as nails and fast with a six-shooter.

Now TNT has a new series on Tuesday nights (Justified) that features one of Elmore Leonard's signature characters:  US Marshal Raylan Givens, a hard-fisted Kentucky lawman that rolls Old West style.

Tonight was the third episode.  My 12 year old called to me from the living room.  "Dad, let's watch Raylan."  Meaning it had taped on the DVR.

Chandler has grown up with video games, cartoons, mutants, and superheroes.  I've tried to get him interested in action movies before without too much success.

But something resonates for him with Raylan.  There's something about the quiet dignity, the passion for getting to the truth of the matter, the refusal to back down or give up, or the willingness to lay it all on the line in a showdown that appeals to my son.

As a hero, Raylan is incredibly simple, yet incredibly complex.  He has rules that he will not break, and yet he's constantly thrown into situations where those rules get challenged.  The problem is, if you break the rule, you break the man.  And Chandler gets that without me explaining it to him.

Everybody keeps looking for new heroes, but I'm seeing evidence that the old ones remain a standard that even kids who grew up without them understand on a deep psychological level.  I believe that Chandler knows there has to be someone in every community that will stand up to challenge the darkness no matter how rough the going becomes.

But I'm crossing my fingers that he doesn't want to wear one of those big cowboy hats!

Brooklyn's Finest Casting Arrested By Procedural

Brooklyn's Finest

The title in Antonie Fuqua's latest film, Brooklyn's Finest, is a reference to police officers but I think it is more suited for the film's casting. The most significant thing about Finest is the number of actors that appear over the course of the film. It seemed like every two minutes a familiar actor makes their cameo on screen. I guess they all must have been really passionate about the material; it is just too bad that this same passion did not translate into a better film.

Brooklyn's Finest follows three separate police officers as they struggle with what their jobs have turned them into. Eddie (Richard Gere) is a seven days from retirement and wants to do his time and go home. Jaded by all that he has seen and done, Eddie struggles with alcohol addiction and his desire to commit suicide. Eddie's retirement plans our complicated when he is asked to show a new recruit the ropes. Sal (Ethan Hawke) is a narcotics officer struggling to provide for his family on a cop's salary. When the mold in Sal's home starts to make his wife (Lili Taylor) sick, Sal is determined to get his family into a new home at all cost. Even if that means stealing money from the drug dealers he arrests. Tango (Don Cheadle) is an undercover cop who has been under for far too long. He starts to question whether drug dealers like Caz (Wesley Snipes) are any worse than the upper police brass who care more about looking good in the papers than they do about crime on the streets.

As I mentioned above, the casting is really strong in this film. Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, and Ethan Hawke are all vastly talented actors who try their best to overcome the shortcomings of the material. Cheadle was the standout for me, though Hawke's story line does get the most screen time. Personally, it was nice to see Wesley Snipes back on the big screen in a significant role. He looked far more engaged here than he did in The Art of War II: Betrayal, which was the last film I saw Snipes in. The supporting players are equally strong with actors such as Vincent D'Onofrio, Ellen Barkin, Will Patton, Michael K. Williams, and pretty much the bulk of The Wire cast all taking small roles in the film. At times you will get so distracted by the actors on screen that you almost forget how formulaic the movie is.

Brooklyn's Finest strives to be a gritty cop drama were all the characters live in that grey area of life. The film even opens with a discussion on how sometimes breaking the law is actually a good thing for bad people to do in times of crisis. Yet the true murkiness is not found on the hard Brooklyn street but in the film's script. The picture is a slow burner that actually starts off very promising. Antonie Fuqua's film teases us at first, just when you think the payoff is about to happen...he decides to keep you dangling just a little longer. Unfortunately we are dangling for so long that Fuqua give us, unintentionally of course, a film with two endings. The first one is what I like to call the "false ending." It is the point in the film where, if the credits began roll, you would feel like you had a satisfying experience. I will not give away the details but will merely say it is the redemption moment for the characters. It is where they wake up and realize that they need to start making better choices.

The only problem with this style of ending is that it does not fit with the usual aesthetics of an Antonie Fuqua film. After seeing seven of his nine films, the one thing I have come to expect from Fuqua is some sort of shootout or action sequence to cap things off. A film is not over until the body count rises and the characters are all out of bullets. Which brings me to the preposterous final act of the film, or the "official ending" if you will. This is where all logic is thrown out the window and the men find themselves in the same housing complex in "Dirty Harry" mode . It is at this point in which both the story and the characters lose all credibility. By time the film ends we feel nothing for these characters or the situations they found themselves in. Brooklyn's Finest might have actually been a decent film without this ending. Sure it would still be formulaic but enjoyable nonetheless. Sadly the final act of the film is so bad that it is tough to recommend this film on any level.

Daffodil

...Symbol of hope.

Here's hoping for a spring filled with surprises, beauty, adventures, friends and a little less of a heavy heart on my part.

I'm just people watching...

I had to renew my license today.

and I came the conclusion that the NJ DMV is one of the most diverse, chaotic, entertaining, methodical, interesting sad places I've been to in a while....


I will never cease to amaze myself at the entertainment value of people watching.

Husband's Responsibility Never Ends

I love my wife.  Anyone that knows me, knows that.  But, despite our marriage and mutual understanding, she sometimes ends up acting just like a woman.

Saturday morning I got up and found her in a bad mood.  So, after years of experience, I stepped lightly, thinking it was my fault.  I'd stayed up late and gotten up late as well.  She'd had a hard week.  And maybe I'd been busy enough that I'd missed something.

I don't miss anniversaries.  She'll forget them before I do.

At any rate, I thought maybe she was feeling trapped by the house.  So I offered to take her and Chandler to a movie.  As we got ready, the truth came out.

Sherry had had a particularly upsetting dream.  She'd had a stroke at school.  She couldn't speak, could barely breathe, and I hadn't acted like I cared enough during the dream.  I'd acted like it was no big deal.  In layman's terms, I'd acted like a jerk.

Now mind you, this was all a dream.  I was in no way a real participant of the events.

However, that morning I was being held accountable for my dream-self's insensitivity.

Interesting, isn't it?

After the movie, I took her out to eat, apologized for my selfish ways, and everything was fine.  As it turns out, she was really aggravated because I didn't seem sympathetic enough to her telling me about her dream.

Of course, when I tell her about my dreams where I get superpowers, she's not suitably impressed either.  Kind of a bummer.

I maintain that there are few real differences between women and men, but -- wow -- the ones that are there are doozies!

Interesting...

I treated myself to a couple movies after finishing up Saturday night (since Wednesday, I had gone through 115 computers...unbox, set up, pack up for transfer to schools). And, I was thinking I wanted to watch a good movie. Upon a suggestion, I rented Up in the Air. I liked it! It was easy on the eyes (George Clooney) and a good story. I recommend it!

I also watched The Time Traveler's Wife. It was good, but I didn't like it as well. Maybe I would enjoy it more watching it a second time.

It is a BEAUTIFUL spring day here! It was nice yesterday too, and the doggies got a nice walk and visit to the dog park!!

Happy Monday, blogger friends!

Covers That Put Books In My Shopping Cart

Yep, book covers do that to me, and I just picked these up.  I love images, and the covers that tells stories in just a flash are awesome.  Now I just hope the books live up to the cover investment.  :)

Movie Marketing Monday

Movie Marketing Monday looks at the movie trailers and/or posters that caught my eye recently.

Animal Kingdom

One of the few trailers that I have seen recently that actually made me giddy. One of the best trailers out right now.





The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Nicolas Cage and Jerry Bruckheimer together again. Box office cash registers have already started rejoicing. While it does look better than I originally expected, the Cage factor knocks this down a few points for me.

Current Favorite Show

Sherry and I cycle through a lot of favorite television shows.  Nothing's going to top NCIS, but Human Target is really up there at late.  The stories are action-packed but the thing that works best for us is the relationship between the three primary characters.  Guarraro is just awesome with his quick, biting wit and his ability to see to the heart of any problem.  Winston is the hard-pressed father figure trying to keep two wayward boys on task.  And Chance is just so cool about everything, and able to deal with every thug that falls into his sights.

If you haven't seen this show, you can watch whole episodes at the homepage.  I reccomend catching an episode and seeing if the series is to your taste.  Human Target, like Burn Notice, has a little something for just about everyone.

Heidi Montag will

With the hills, which are introduced into a field and shooting, Heidi Montag is looking forward to her career as an actress in "start full picture of the movement of time."http://hotcelebrityhollywood.blogspot.com/Write In fact, a script for the launch. I'm not even kidding. People across: One of the characters wants to play Sunday "is a lifeguard in the summer on a script he wrote himself called

Subbing for Mrs. Odom

Okay, my wife knows better.  She's been married to me for almost 16 years.  But she did it anyway.

On Wednesday, she asked for me to sub in her fourth grade classes while she attended a funeral.

I'm more than willing to help out, but we're going to do it my way.  After all, she's throwing me to a pack of ten year olds that don't take prisoners.

So I've come up with assignments for the kids to work on while I'm substitute teaching.  I'm going to have them draw up lists and then graph them.  The lists will go something like this:

Top 10 Ways Mrs. Odom Gets On Mr. Odom's Nerves

Top 5 Meals Mrs. Odom Should NEVER Make Mr. Odom Eat Again

Top 10 Ways Mrs. Odom Could Treat Mr. Odom Better

Top 10 Most Embarrassing Things Mrs. Odom Has Ever Done

Top 10 Things Mrs. Odom Should Most Appreciate About Mr. Odom

I bet the assignment will be a hit with the kids!

Pitch the LAMB: Mutiny, I Promise You

The following is my submission for the Pitch the LAMB feature over at The Large Association of Movie Blogs site (aka. The LAMB). The genre for this month's Pitch the LAMB is Coming-of-Age and bloggers are encourage to come up with an idea for a movie in that genre style.

Mutiny, I Promise You

The Pitch: 17 year-old Frankie Heyward rarely sees eye to eye with his folks on anything. The only person who seems to truly get him is Alba Morris, a 37 year-old woman who he chats with online every night. Despite the fact that Alba is married with kids, Frankie believes that they are destined to be together. After a particularly heated argument with his parents, over the amount of time he spends on the computer each day, Frankie leaves home and in hopes of hitchhiking across the country to be with Alba.

Along his travels Frankie meets, and befriends, former movie child star Neil Cord. Although Neil has not landed a role in years, he refuses to accept that his fame has faded. Neil parties hard with no regard to the consequences of his actions. Through Neil, Frankie is introduced to an exciting world filled drugs, women, and booze. Frankie is mesmerized by this lifestyle at first but soon sees its darker side when a drug dealer, Douglas Dell, starts pursuing Neil for unpaid debts. Fearing for Neil’s life, Frankie pleads with Neil to just pay the money stating “he’s going to kill you”. Yet, unbeknownst to Frankie, Neil squander all his money away on years ago.

As the two young men travel across country, Frankie starts to question whether his life at home was as bad as he originally thought? Neil begins to realize, through his friendship with Frankie, that there is more to life than being admired by others. Sadly this realization comes too late for Neil as he is suddenly gunned down by Douglas Dell. “Hey Frankie…” would be the last words ever uttered out of Neil's mouth. By time Frankie reaches Alba’s house he is a changed man. Exhaust, both mentally and physically, Frankie can barely muster the energy to knock on Alba's front door. After all Frankie has witnessed and experienced, he now knows that there is no future with Alba. All Frankie wants is to use Alba’s phone to call his parents so that they can bring him home.

Possible Cast:
Frankie Heyward - Aaron Johnson
Neil Cord - Paul Dano
Douglas Dell -Bobby Cannavale
Alba Morris - Melissa McCarthy

As promised...

Our little ballerina (Chloe) trying on this year's outfit for recital:

And here she is trying on her tap outfit:

Oh, my gosh! I can hardly wait for the recital. Isn't she all grown up already!!!

Angelina Jolie and mystery that is her mind blown up

My bad! I completely ignored the photo of one hour, because I thought it was the same as yesterday, but it's new! Apparently Angelina was now on the balcony, and if even one of the twins. Perhaps one of the twins. Fame Pictures claims is now the son of Vivienne, but I see the earrings and this guy seems to Knox yesterday (if it was Knox) and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt in Cannes and fax numbers, and what

Morning Conversations With Chandler

I get to take my 12 year old to school at least twice a week while I'm teaching.  We always have weird conversations.  At least, according to his mom they're weird.

But we just think about stuff.

Like this morning.  We stopped at McDonalds (and why can't you find a dog sipping out of a McDonalds cup on the internet?) for breakfast.  Chandler took it upon himself to put the straws in the soda cups while I drove.  He struggled with getting the straw through the lid of my drink.

That got me to thinking, which is not always a good thing.  But it's at least inventive.

I said, "What if that cup could talk?  What if when you shoved the straw in it screamed bloody murder?"

Chandler cracked up, saying that would be the perfect thing to get for little kids.  We both lost it then, thinking of his nephew and my grandson (two years old) freaking out when he shoved a straw into a cup.

Just think:  you could put those mini-recorders in soft drink lids, you know, the ones you get in gift cards.  Open the card, Elvis sings?

The cup lid idea might not be patentable, but if I had the chance I'd do it.

My favorite quote for a drink lid?

"Don't make me come outta this cup!"

Reconnecting

Recently, I've a discovered a sparkly, clever blogger named T!nk. You may have noticed some of his thoughts in the comments of my posts.
I, of course was intrigued and went to check out his blog where he reminded me of some words of wisdom. Wisdom that I had forgotten.
"Always listen to your gay."

It's a variation on my own form of wisdom which is... "Every woman needs a good gay man in her life."

It's so true. Recently a friend of mine moved into a new apartment building and made friends with an outrageously funny gay man. He joined us for a party and I found myself all jealous that she had a gay guy and I didn't. Wah.

Anyway.

T!nk's words reminded me that I had fallen out of touch with my dearest gay friend. I called him immediately and left a message citing T!nk's advice and telling him how much I missed him.

Now we're talking each week again - and today I got to tell him about Jerry/Hugh. I forgot how great it is to talk about guys with a gay man.

Me: "He has black sort of curly hair... and he wears it a little long."
GGF (Gay Guy Friend) : "Long curly hair? Ooh... does it look good?"
Me: "It's not really long. Just a couple inches long rather than cropped close to the head. It looks good on him - and nice to run my fingers through."
GGF: "Oh yeah, that's nice."
Me: "He's really tall, and really thin... with that black hair and blue eyes."
GGF: "OMG! How cute!"

I had to laugh... because I wouldn't even go into that much detail with my girlfriends.
I knew I truly missed my gay friend when he was talking about a client that bugs him, because the client doesn't like it when GGF uses exclamation points in his email correspondence.

GGF: "Are you kidding? For me it's not a question of whether to use an exclamation point, but how many!!!"

So true. Obviously I suffer from the same affliction.
We also discussed my coming to visit, because GGF and his partner always let me stay at their house and they are the world's best hosts.

GGF: "That's GGFP's area. He loves to play host."
Me: "That's right. He's like the Host with the Most on Steroids. 'Do you need another pillow? Can I cut you some cantaloupe in the shape of stars? Do you need a towel?"
GGF: "Do you need a towel to stand on?"

Oh my. How have I gotten along without him?

If any of my regular bloggy friends wonder how I align my faith beliefs with accepting my gay friends -- it's like this; I believe very strongly that God did not put me here to judge others. If what they are doing is wrong - God will handle that. The Lord put me here to love my neighbor - and to show love to my friends. So that is what I do. Post edit - I find it much easier to love my gay friends... than to love people who are mean to me. I need to work on that - the call to love everyone is truly a challenge!

Oh and T!nk... My GGF was also in the military, prior to DADT. Thought you'd like to know that!

I Just Need You Now

Caught between a catchy tune and something to sing along with... I'm enjoying Lady Antebellum's song 'Need You Now'.

The vocals in this song are lovely... but something about the refrain doesn't sit right with me:

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call  but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
 

Is this a song about a booty call?

It reminds me of an ex-boyfriend of mine - who years later would occasionally call me in the early morning, weekend hours when the bars shut down.
Text book booty call right?
Except, he was in Tennessee while I was in Colorado.
Not much of anything is going to happen with that sort of distance.

I could never figure out why he was calling me except for his explanation that he's still buzzed and wants to talk to someone and it was too late to call anyone in his time zone!

Since it was two hours earlier where I lived - he was calling me at about 1:00am and we would talk about what was happening in our lives, and also talk about the past... about people we both knew and we would reminisce about the time we spent together.

I always thought it was odd for an ex-boyfriend to call for that sort of conversation. It didn't happen a lot, but enough that I wasn't too alarmed when it did happen. Not surprisingly, he stopped when the last call was to announce that he got engaged the night before. (That was shocking as my response was. "To whom?!" He had never mentioned he was dating anyone. Just calling for his platonic booty call every few months.) By the way, how strange is it to call an ex-girlfriend the very morning after you propose to someone else?!! Just say'n!

So you can see how I never made sense of that.

Last weekend, I think I figured out the answer.
On Sunday I heard an interview with Lady Antebellum. They were asked how they accounted for the popularity of the song.
The answer was that they thought it was something everyone could relate to. The male singer (I don't really know the group) said, "Sometimes when a guy is up late and has had too much to drink, he just needs someone who is really important to him to be there."

Hmm. Maybe I was more important to this guy than I thought.


Jerry/Hugh update: He came over after work (9:00pm)last night with a bottle of wine to spend some time together, (rather than on the phone since we only live about 12 blocks apart). We talked until 2:00am. He's so easy to relate to, we have tons in common. I'm learning that he is truly, a good man. I really like him.

Here's a funny. As he made arrangements to meet up - we were trying to determine if we had each had dinner. (I had just made myself something, he hadn't) So he said "It's okay... I'll just eat a little something before we go to bed."
"We?" I asked.
"Did I say 'We'?" He was suddenly mortified! Explaining that he had absolutely no ulterior motives!!
I'm happy to report, we only engaged in a tiny amount of smooching... all above board. He's a good guy!

Arggg. It's actually frustrating because even though I enjoy getting to know him and taking it slow - there's part of me that just wants to jump ahead and see how it all turns out!!

Seriously?

I don't know where I stand on the Health bill at the moment.  Both sides have good arguments.  I listen to good arguments.

But one of the linchpins for disregarding the House's signing of the Bill is going to be over the fact that Viagra might be given to sex offenders?

I couldn't believe that this morning.  I mean, getting Viagra should be the last thing a convicted sex offender would want.  They already have urges they can't control.  This would only make it worse for them.

And it would be a self-correcting process.  Sex offenders can be repeat offenders anyway, and they'll go to prison.  So if Viagra works, they'll go to prison sooner.  Maybe treat a sex offender with a Viagra prescription as a robber using a weapon instead of just brute force?

Not only that, but studies have shown that Viagra only works with people that have PHYSICAL problems, not mental ones.  Viagra is not going to help the performance of anyone who's got some kind of mental abberation going on.

This argument is thinner than smoke, and it got a Bill rejected?

What Happened Here?

This is the little girl I dressed in pink and lavender.
And ruffles.
Dresses mostly.
She was a girly girl.
A dancer.
A primper.
She liked to shop.
So, what is wrong with this picture of her "new holster????" Oh, my!!!


P.S. Tune in tomorrow and see some girly girl pictures of someone special!!!

Give A Kid A Fork

My wife and I went to eat Sunday at the end of Spring Break.  We'd had good weather, then got slammed with a snowstorm.  Oklahoma is having interesting weather this year.

Anyway, we're sitting at the table and next to us are two young couples and one baby that was less than two years old.  The parents were very involved with talking to the other couple, who had no children with them.

They'd also given the baby a fork to play with.  He kept poking himself in the forehead with it.  Sherry and I sat mortified, waiting for the horrible to happen and knowing we couldn't say anything to the parents in the crowded restaurant without something being said.

Finally, the mother took the fork away from the little boy, and she remarked that he must be sleepy because he was rubbing his eyes.  It still amazes me how children manage to grow up at times.

Maybe I was the overprotective parent, and still am, but I'll proudly bear that cross.

Beats raising a pirate that needs TWO eye patches.

Alice's Land Left Me Wondering

Alice in Wonderland

Based on Lewis Carroll's two stories, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, as well as his poem "Jabberwocky", Tim Burton's latest film, Alice in Wonderland, is not short on source material...although it often feels that way at times. In this latest version of the classic story, Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is 19 years-old who is tormented by the same recurring nightmare, of a strange land, since she was young girl. On the same day Alice receives a marriage proposal, from a man whom Alice does not love, she sees a strangely dress White Rabbit (Martin Sheen) scampering around in the garden. While chasing the rabbit Alice stumbles into a hole that transports her to the magical Wonderland. Alice has no recollection of the place, which she first visited when she was a child, and thinks it is all a dream. Yet the inhabitants of Wonderland, including the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp), desperately need Alice to regain her memory. It has been foretold that Alice will dethrone the ruthless Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) by defeating the beast known as the Jabberwocky (Christopher Lee). Once the Jabberwocky is destroyed, the White Queen (Anne Hathaway) can resume her rightful place as the true ruler of Wonderland.

Tim Burton is known for his surreal visuals and this film is no different. Alice in Wonderland’s greatest strength is the wonderful art direction and special effects. This is probably Burton's best looking film in years; even the minor details, such as the White Queen's soldiers having the heads of chess pieces, are a treat. If you exclude Stayne (Crispen Glover), who looks awkward in every scene he is in, it is tough to find fault with the outstanding visuals. The funny thing is, for a film that had such wonderful art direction, the 3D aspects were shockingly poor. I will not get on my usual soapbox about how 3D is a cash grab, as I have beating that horse to death. Regardless, I can easily see visual elements, like the seamless incorporation of the Cheshire Cat in many scenes, amazing audiences in either format.

Speaking of the Cheshire Cat, I thought Stephen Fry's voiceover work was near perfect. The same can also be said for Alan Rickman, who brings the Abosolom to life with a mystic charm. The interesting thing about Fry and Rickman's performances is how easily they steal scenes from the actors on screen. You know you have problems when the CGI characters are far more interesting than the human ones. Which brings me to one of the flaws with Alice in Wonderland; the film has too much talent and not enough use for them.

It is rare that you walk into a film starring Johnny Depp and walk away being more wowed by the supporting characters, like the aforementioned Fry and Rickman, yet that is exactly what happens here. While I liked the darker tone that Depp gave the Mad Hatter, his overall performance was surprisingly dull. I understand that Depp is trying to find a balance between exploring the root of Hatter’s madness and being the comic relief; but he often falls short on both parts. At times it felt like Johnny Depp was merely channeling the Scottish cousin of his Willy Wonka character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The difference being that the Mad Hatter’s often mumbles large chunks of his dialogue. At first I thought I was merely burned out by the Depp/Burton pairing as this is the fourth straight film they have done together, and eighth film in total. Then I realized that even the new players to Tim Burton's world were not fairing much better.

Mia Wasikowska is a serviceable but ultimately forgettable Alice. Even when she final raises up and embraces her female independence, which the entire film is building towards, it does not carry the weight it should. We should be cheering Alice along her journey yet I found myself caring less about what happened to her as the film went along. I will say that Wasikowska was much better than Anne Hathaway, as she at least had things to do. Anne Hathaway, on the other hand, had to suffer through a painfully awkward performance as the White Queen. Hathaway serves no real purpose in the film other than to be the embodiment of good. Since the White Queen has sworn not to hurt a living thing, she is merely glides around all day with her dainty hands in the air. It is shame to see such a talented actress like Hathaway take on such a meaningless role.

The only on screen actor that really seems to fit the tone of the film is Helena Bonham Carter. As the Red Queen, Carter is a delight to watch in her small role. In a few short scenes she conveys a queen who is both ruthless and desperately in need of acceptance. If you take away Helena’s performance there is no other human character that really generates any interest. Alice’s family and friends are mere footnotes to the overall picture.

While the art direction, and a few key performances, keeps Alice in Wonderland afloat; the film, in the end, is much ado about nothing. Tim Burton’s version of the source material creates a beautiful but hollow world, which is probably why Alice found it so forgettable in the first place.

Slippery Slope

When Jerry/Hugh and I had dinner the other night, we sat across from each other in a booth. By the time we had been talking for an hour after our meal our was finished, he started to hold my hand across the table.

It's so strange to be dating again, that I actually had to consider whether it was weird or sweet to be holding hands. I mean - I'm almost 40 for crying out loud! It seems so silly, so backwards.
I decided on sweet. Hey, that's the way it's supposed to go.

After we had been talking for FOUR hours on our date, he invited me to sit on his side of the booth when I returned from the ladies room. It wasn't long after that, he kissed me. (yes, it was lovely - despite being in a public place!)

See, I'm a girl who waits to kiss until the third date.

You know why? Because in our society - things have become so distorted that many men expect sex on the third date! I reserve kissing for the third date to let a man know that I'm not that kind of girl!

This morning, on the AM Radio Show the hosts were talking about a survey. It had asked either 1500 or 15,000 women (I'm bad with numbers so I can't remember - and I can't find the source right now) on which date in a new relationship is it okay to have sex with your date.
The majority answer was the THIRD DATE! 10% responded that it was okay on the first date if you really connected!

This is ridiculous to me! What on earth does a couple know about one another by the third date to risk having a child together?!!! Yuck. That's part of the problem that our society's contraception mentality has created. (Conversion Diary has a great explanation of the Contraceptive Mentality - scroll down to that section or read this whole post... it's amazing.)

Back to my date.
He walked me not only to the door of my building, but to my own personal door on the third floor. (it was already 2:30am! ) We talked on my sofa for a bit, and kissed a bit more. This wasn't exactly the third date so I started wonder if this was all too soon.

But we had just talked for six hours! It's not as if we hadn't gotten to know one another.
So I looked up at him and said, "Wait. Maybe we should talk some more!"
As expected, he burst out laughing.
I took the opportunity to ask, "Is this our second date? Or our first? Was our breakfast meeting a date?"
"Of course it was a date. Plus, we've spent more than 15 hours on the phone together - this is like our 4th or 5th date."

"Well then, I guess it's okay to kiss."

But I am regretting it a little bit. I think I really like him, and now that we've kissed we've raised the bar a bit. If I'm trying to save sex for marriage - (whether with Jerry/Hugh or someone else) there's not a whole lot left between kissing and sex to reserve for the slow reveal.
Plus, it doesn't take much kissing before the desire to tear off clothing kicks in.
Sigh. Been there before!
Such a slippery slope.

For the record, Italian Guy asked me if I kiss on the second date. I said no. A) because I'm a third date girl - B) I'm already kissing Jerry/Hugh and C) Italian Guy is very recently divorced with three small children and no annulment yet. Oh... and D) as a by-product of being divorced, he hasn't really dated in 19 years so I figure I should help him set reasonable expectations.

Facebook

Okay, I admit that I'm lax in doing the whole Facebook thing.  I just don't have the time to play the games, and checking through people's shout-outs every day doesn't have the same appeal as sitting down with them over lunch and having them tell me their adventures.  I like really talking to people, not just doing the crib note check over Facebook stuff.

That's where this picture of Richard Dreyfuss and me is.  It's kind of cool, and it was funny because my son Shiloh was with me and didn't know who he was.  Now he does, and he's sad he didn't get to talk more to him.

Anyway, I was cutting and pasting students' photos into my Outlook account so they'll show up on my phone when they call.  I'm getting older and I don't like having to guess who's on the other end.  After all, I've got five kids and the fourth grandbaby is on the way.  I'm not going to admit to being old, but that's a lot of people to keep up with.

As I was picking out pictures, I looked through some of their photos (really don't have enough time to look through all of them), but I did notice how these kids I know as college students seem to grow up as I flipped through the pics.

In my house, the kids usually have to take down their pictures on the wall to fumble back through the school pictures.  But today's kids just have to flip back through Facebook.  It's kind of cool, and I wish we'd had access to this kind of technology when I was a kid.  I've lost contact with a lot of people over the years, and I would have loved to have pictures of some of the stuff we did.

So for all you young sprouts, keep taking pictures.  One day your past will only be a click away, and I think that will really be cool.

Water Conservation

I've been off on Spring Break for the last week.  I've got a lot of writing done, but my health has improved considerably.  Except for the changes in weather we're experiencing in Oklahoma.  Seventy degree temps Thursday, snow on Saturday.  Wow.

Anyway, I've also been dreaming a lot.  I usually do, creative mind and all that.  But I've actually had a couple of good ideas lately.

One involves a new way of outlining a book and taking advantage of the internet blogs.  More on that later.

For the moment, though, I want to concentrate on water conservation.  Summer will be upon us soon.  I got to thinking about all the half-drunk bottles of water and soft drinks people toss in the trash.  I realized that water never makes it back to the city water plant until it soaks back into the ground water source wherever the community dump starts.

That takes a long time.  Especially if the plastic bottle isn't ruptured and the fluid stays within the container.

So, as I gather up my son's half-drunk coke bottles and water bottles, I pour the leftover contents down the sink drain.  That puts it back into the system a lot faster.

If the water/soft drink got shipped in from outside the city, it's bonus water supply.

Think about it as you get in the habit of tossing these bottles.  1) you won't have liquid spills if the trash bag rips, and 2) you'll be helping conserve water.

Movie Marketing Monday

Movie Marketing Monday looks at the movie trailers and/or posters that caught my eye recently.

The Switch

This film had me at Jason Bateman, though the rest of the cast is great as well. This is the first time since Friends With Money that I actually want to see a Jennifer Aniston film in theatres.

The Joneses

I saw The Joneses at TIFF last year. I will post my thoughts on it closer to the release date.




All trailers courtesy of traileraddict.com

UpDATE

I went out with Jerry/Hugh Friday night and we closed the place down!

We went out to a pub/bar for dinner at about 9:00 and when the place closed at 2:00am they kicked us out with the rest of the stragglers. 2. AM. Seriously.

We talked the entire time. My voice was raw from talking over the music blasting from the speaker directly above our booth.
Obviously we have tons to talk about - we even delved into some heavy stuff like his dad's death, and my sister's death - family - faith and lots of other stuff.

I like him.

Sunday night I had a date with the Italian Guy who I met online. This was our second date - and I wasn't very excited about it - because I already like Jerry/Hugh.
But the date was better than expected, and I like him more than I did after my first impression on our first meeting.

We went for coffee after dinner - a little independently owned shop buzzing with students on their laptops, working on homework.

As he drove me home, he initiated a conversation about whether men and women can declare someone of the same gender attractive. The general rule is that women will acknowledge another beautiful women... but that most men aren't comfortable doing so in regard to their own gender.
Italian Guy said, that yes he could say another guy is attractive - for example the guy sitting diagonal to us in the coffee shop was a good looking guy.

Yes, I agreed he was.

"I know." IG said, "I saw you checking him out."
Thank the Lord the inside of the car was dark, because I'm sure I turned five shades of red.
"I didn't check. him. out."
"Yes you did. You were even obvious about it. You up-and-downed him."
"No! I noticed that he was there. And that he was nice looking. And that he was wearing cargo shorts, which I thought was strange, considering the weather - but I wasn't giving him the up-and-down!"

He playfully argued with me... but I was squirming. I swear, I wasn't ogling. I just noticed the kid. But I'm so embarrassed - because I would be livid if I caught my date checking out a woman.

Totally. Busted.
Even though I swear I wasn't checking him out. I simply saw the young good looking guy - who happened to be sitting under a very interesting piece of art.

My face is still red.

Book Review

I just finished reading the book "The Lovely Bones" yesterday. My mom and I share books, and she recently gave me three more bags to go through. This is the second one I read out of the most recent sharing. I had read "Fatal Mercy" before this. It was a good read, as well.

"The Lovely Bones" is a movie that was released in 2009, so I am glad that I have read the book before I watch it! It is a good book, with an interesting view on how a young girl who was raped and murdered watches over her family and friends from heaven. It is unique and makes you really think about things. I liked it and recommend reading it!!!

Other than that, it sure is a nice weekend, and the dogs and I enjoyed an after supper walk. Sammy was not too happy about being on the coupler leash with Sissy, but he survived! I have got most of my chores done, and went to the Y yesterday too! So all in all, so far, so good!

Caught My Eye

This book is coming out next week.  Found the cover, thought it was interesting, looked up the author, and got it ordered.  It's supposed to be the first book of a trilogy, but it sounds fun.

Conversations with Chandler

My twelve year old son wants to be an inventor, and yes, the world should tremble in fear.

Lately he's been obsessed with video games.  He's convinced he can build a virtual reality helmet.  So he asked me, "Dad, what should a virtual reality helmet do?"

I replied, "Things generally are supposed to do what they're named to do.  Like a hammer.  A hammer, well, hammers things.  A virtual reality helmet should make virtual reality happen."

"Okay."

"Don't get me started on why some things are mis-named.  Like crash helmets..."

1st Day of Spring haiku

Tomorrow is spring
Beach chairs, drinks, music, friends
grass between my toes
Head back, eyes shut, let go...


Tomorrow is my first day off in 2 weeks.... Beyond excited. Bonfire at my house. Can't wait.

Happy Spring!

Now What?

Oh the wondering.

When you meet someone new and even if you're fairly certain they are interested in you - there is still that bit of insecurity that he may not call.
I'm not the type to wait by the phone and wail, but hey - I'm ready to get on with things.

So last night I was talking with a friend, Mibr, telling her that Jerry/Hugh hadn't called yet, and it was already Thursday. I made plans with an online guy for Sunday. Mibr and I are thinking of seeing a movie either Friday or Saturday.

A minute after I ended the call with Mibr, Jerry/Hugh called.
We talked for four hours again!
It's ridiculous! He even said, if he'd known we would talk for that long, we should have just met up and seen each other in person!
I agreed by pointing out that my hair looked really cute last night and it was a shame to waste it!!

I do enjoy talking with him - but he keeps me up too late!
Granted, I have been in the habit of staying up that late anyway -1:00am - but I'm trying to break the habit. And when I am up that late by myself - I'm just groggy. When I'm on the phone, talking, I start to get punchy. Giggling fits. Laughing at nothing.

Then I'm embarrassed because it's uncontrollable giggling.
He said it was kind of cute - because it showed a girly side of me. I guess that's sort of sweet.

But at this point we've spent more time on the phone together than in person.
I think we should make it a goal to have our face-time outrank our phone-time.
I'll tell him tonight. We're going to try to get together if the weather cooperates.

(spring snow here... thick heavy, wet snow that makes half the drivers here panic... making it dangerous for everyone. Grr. I wish the people who moved to Colorado from snowless states could be ordered to either stay home - or learn to drive in snow. Seriously, it's no reason to panic!!)

What's Up Doc?

If it weren't for feeling sick and miserable, I'd enjoy doctor's visits more.  I mean, think about it:  doctors and nurses are a captive audience.  They can't run from you.  They have to deal with you for a certain amount of time.

They practice medicine on me.

I practice my stand-up routine and heckling.

Seems fair to me.  Except that they get paid and I don't.  Of course, there are meds involved.  Maybe I should consider that getting paid.

Anyway, I recently got to visit a pulmonologist that had never treated me before.  My wife and son went with me.  Sherry wanted to make sure I ladeled in all the pertinent information and various manifestations of my illness.  She likes to add in the ones that bother her as well.

My son rolls with me for the amusement factor.  He loves my humor.  Kind of offsets Sherry not always being appreciative.  We go to the doc, Chandler laughs at my stuff, I feed him McDonalds on the way home.  It's a system that works.

So the nurse comes in first and I pester her with dead-pan answers.  Before she leaves, she tells me the doc will want me in a chair of my own when he talks to me.

I ask if the doc has a chair fetish, or if he's just concerned about people sitting taller than he does.  I tell her I'm not that enthusiastic about being treated by someone with chair insecurity issues.  After all, you can't kill a chair with a misdiagnosis.

She assures me Doc knows what he's doing, and she scurries from the room.  So I move to the chair and wait.  My mind won't stop working despite my wife telling me I need to be good.

Good is for pikers.  I had a captive audience after all.  Bought and paid for.

Doc comes in.  He takes his seat and introduces himself.

I tell him that Nurse has informed me about his chair fetish and insecurities, and I tell him that there are people that can help him with those things.  I tell him I'm surprised that he hasn't known about those people himself.

He's polite, but I can tell he's reeling a little.  With some help from my wife, Doc understands that I'm just joshing.

Then he comes over and starts putting his hands on me.

"Doc," I say, "you gotta know this is hard for me."

"Am I hurting you?"

"No, but I'm from southeastern Oklahoma and I'm not used to men putting their hands on me unless we're in team uniforms and telling each other 'good game.'"

Doc asks my wife if I'm always like this.  She sadly nods.  He offers to prescribe something for her.

Then he asks me to pull up my shirt.

I say, "I don't know where you came from, but back home we don't get to this point until after dinner and a movie."

He shakes his head.  Despite everything, he continues to talk to me.

I tell him I'm a writer.  Of course, he's wary at first.  I tell him to look me up on Amazon.  He says the x-ray tech will be along for me shortly.

Another nurse comes for me.  We go outside.  In the hallway, Doc is looking me up on Amazon on his computer.

"Checking me out?" I ask.

"Yeah.  There you are.  Picture and everything."

Then I tell him docs can get away with wearing the stethoscope and the white coat, but maybe they should look into getting web pages as well.  For people that want to check on them.

He was a great guy.  I told him next time I would bring hand puppets.