The leaves are changing, then falling to the ground, shedding there beautiful colors all over the grass....it's pretty beautiful here....it got me thinking though about change.
As your reinvent yourself, along with it you should begin to shed different chapters of your past.
I’ve found that when I am in a situation where I feel like nothing is changing and my life is almost “stuck”, it’s harder to get over people or experiences of the past.
Since coming here, I have been on a mission to forget what happened this summer between me and a guy. I made my move a subconscious catalyst to forgetting it ever happened. I thought moving here would “shed” my past with him, and I would almost never think about what happened. Unfortunately, with all the amazing experiences, yoga classes, good conversations and mountain beauty, the past is still there. I have tried to talk about it, but when I round up the recap of what exactly happened, I am left with a question mark and an inadvertent “What the hell”? If him and I had been a book, there would be a search warrant out for the writer because quite frankly I am working with nothing from him.
This brings up a question I should be asking myself. How can I get over the past, when I don’t know if I can move him to the “past” box? I have no idea what he is doing, how he feels about me and most importantly, why it ended so hastily? From my end, I wish when I told him I was moving, we decided to remain friends. I wish I knew how he felt about it. If he cares I am gone. I wish I knew if he was dating again….And here I am; stuck in these whirlwinds of wondering and pondering and making myself crazy.
Presently, all I want is closure. I want to stop living in the past. I want to shed my skin and be strong enough to open myself up without the fear of someday having to shed the past again…I don’t want Mr. Wonderful to walk in and do it for me, I don’t want the mountains or the amazing experiences or even the great conversations to be the catalyst that moves me forward. I want reemerge and reinvent myself on my own…
I’ve found that when I am in a situation where I feel like nothing is changing and my life is almost “stuck”, it’s harder to get over people or experiences of the past.
Since coming here, I have been on a mission to forget what happened this summer between me and a guy. I made my move a subconscious catalyst to forgetting it ever happened. I thought moving here would “shed” my past with him, and I would almost never think about what happened. Unfortunately, with all the amazing experiences, yoga classes, good conversations and mountain beauty, the past is still there. I have tried to talk about it, but when I round up the recap of what exactly happened, I am left with a question mark and an inadvertent “What the hell”? If him and I had been a book, there would be a search warrant out for the writer because quite frankly I am working with nothing from him.
This brings up a question I should be asking myself. How can I get over the past, when I don’t know if I can move him to the “past” box? I have no idea what he is doing, how he feels about me and most importantly, why it ended so hastily? From my end, I wish when I told him I was moving, we decided to remain friends. I wish I knew how he felt about it. If he cares I am gone. I wish I knew if he was dating again….And here I am; stuck in these whirlwinds of wondering and pondering and making myself crazy.
Presently, all I want is closure. I want to stop living in the past. I want to shed my skin and be strong enough to open myself up without the fear of someday having to shed the past again…I don’t want Mr. Wonderful to walk in and do it for me, I don’t want the mountains or the amazing experiences or even the great conversations to be the catalyst that moves me forward. I want reemerge and reinvent myself on my own…
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