Worst Films of 2009

In preparation for my favourite films of 2009 list, which will be in the next few weeks, I thought I would take look at the pictures that annoyed me the most this year.

10) Observe and Report – I liked it better when it was called Taxi Driver. Sadly this is not the only mall related film to make this esteemed list.



9) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Robot Heaven, jive talking cars, a female terminator…did I mention robot heaven?



8) The Limits of Control – I really love Jarmusch’s other works, which is why this film was such a big disappointment for me.



7) Drag Me To Hell – Look, I enjoy Sam Rami’s horror classics as much as the next guy. Heck, I even went to see the Evil Dead Musical when it came to town. Yet trying to recapture that campy low budget feel through a big budget production just does not work.



6) 12 Rounds – This made Walking Tall look like Shakespeare…Walking Tall!!! Aidan Gillen goes from the sensation series, The Wire, to this? Gillen deserves better, Hollywood.



5) Push – As a comic book, video game, or a television series the premise is great. As a movie, on the other hand, this is an unsalvageable mess. Push way too much stuff into this film.



4) My Bloody Valentine 3D – Thanks, Avatar. Now certain movies will not just be awful…they will be awful in three dimensions.



3) X-Men Origins: Wolverine – X2 was great. X-men: Last Stand was awful. Which one would you assume Hollywood would follow?…yep, they fooled me as well. To prolong the pain even further, Deadpool is getting his own spinoff.



2) Bride Wars – Number 2 by a hair…or bridal tiara. This film was offensive beyond belief and single handedly set feminism back a few centuries…and this is coming for a male. Worst of all, Hathaway goes from being on my best of 2008 list, for Rachel Getting Married, to the worst of 2009 list. Hudson can take solace in the fact that she has now made my worst list two years running.



1) Paul Blart: Mall Cop – What is with Hollywood’s obsession with mall security guards? Is this really the last sect of the population whose stories have yet to be told? It was a close call for the number one spot but Paul came out on top.



Runners-Up: He’s Just Not That Into You, The Box, Race to Witch Mountain, A Christmas Carol 3D

Pushed to Limit...I Lost Control

The Limits of Control


Many critics will say that it is far easier to talk about something you hate than it is to express why you loved a film. Well in the case of Jim Jarmusch's latest film, The Limits of Control, it is tougher talking about work that you disliked when it was made by people you normally love.

The story centres around a mysterious Lone Man (Isaach de Bankolé) who is sent to Spain to complete a job. While the nature of the job is not divulged to the audience at first, you get the sense that it is the type of work that can only be handled outside the realms of the law. In order for the Lone Man to complete his mission, he will have to exchange information with a series of individuals (Gael Garcia Benal, Twilda Swinton, John Hurt, etc.) and keep his mind pure of sexual temptation (Paz de la Huerto).

The Limits of Control is a film where the end result is not as important as the journey to it. To truly understand the journey, one must realize that the end result is being aware that our reality is not our reality. Confused? Well this type of philosophical discourse essentially makes up the majority of this film. Some of the discussions serve as clues to events that will happen later in the film; while others are merely random musings on everything ranging from the misuse of the word " Bohemian", when talking about artist, to this history of musical instruments.

If nothing else, The Limits of Control is easily one of the most quotable films of the year. Though you will have a heck of a time trying to figure out what all the lines mean in relation to the film. For example, Twilda Swinton's character remarks that "the best films are like dreams you are not quite sure you just had." The problem with this statement is the fact that the slow dreamlike nature, in which events unfold, is downright maddening. If anything it is a painfully slow nightmare is only scary due to how boring it actually is. Gael Garcia Benal offers up an enlightening pearl of wisdom in "everything changes by the glass you see it through." Despite all these deep and profound lines by time you reach the climax of the film, if you can even call it a climax, you realize that it all really boils down to a "I think I can, I think I can" moment. Where envisioning your goal allows you to achieve it.

I know some may argue that I am missing the bigger philosophical picture but I am not ashamed to admit I just did not get it. When Jarmusch's characters are not spewing cryptic philosophical rhetoric, the rest of the film plays like a silent travelogue for Spain. It is really tough to find the deeper meaning in a film when the one character who holds to key to everything, Bankolé's Lone Man, only manages a few words every twenty minutes. I was originally willing to give Jarmusch the benefit of the as he is a director I usually enjoy. Plus the cast featured many actors/actresses that I love. Yet it is tough to praise a film that feels like a warmed over David Lynch picture that was left in the philosophical oven for far too long. Due to the calibre of talent involved, The Limits of Control is one of the most disappointing films of the year.