Milestones or Assumptions?

Losing a child has to be the hardest thing God asks anyone to face.

I've been following a story here in Denver on the case of a Colorado woman who moved to Georgia. She was back in Denver for Christmas, returned to Georgia and was suddenly missing on New Years Day. Turns out she went for a hike with her dog and encountered a wanderer who murdered her.

Story here: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15186861/detail.html

The murderer was sentenced to life in prison last week. At the sentencing, her father spoke about his regret that he'll never walk her down the aisle at her wedding, or hold a grandchild.

Why is that always what parents say? That they most look forward to seeing their child get married? That they expect them to have children?

I understand that they are talking about milestones, but why does everyone assume that everyone is going to get married and reproduce?

I mean no disrespect to this woman's family. I understand the loss. My sister was murdered at the same age as this woman. But my parents never said a word about missing her wedding. Maybe that's because she already had a baby. I don't know.

I bring this up because as someone's child... if that's the big event my parents were looking forward to... well I feel like a lousy kid. I'm almost 38. I've never been married. I've never had a kid because I don't want to raise a kid without a husband. I realize that even if I do get married someday, my parents may not be around to witness it. Does that make me a failure? One basic thing that my parents want for me and I can't even give them that!

My thoughts also go to the children who hear this expectation come from their own parents mouths... even though they might be gay. Can you imagine the pressure of a poor kid who knows he or she will never have ANY interest in the opposite sex - to learn that the big day their parents are waiting for is a wedding day?!?

Maybe it comes from knowing a great love.... and wanting nothing but a great love for your child. Maybe that is the supreme happiness. Maybe that's as good as it gets.

But to me, it's almost like saying that unless you find that love... that dang near impossible to find love... that your life was somehow empty. And I guess I find that insulting because I don't view my life as empty.

Maybe some of you folks who have fallen in love and bred and reproduced can enlighten me.