Thursday, November 17, 2005

Another Man Falls Off The Planet

Well, another man fell off the planet. Apparently meeting or dating me causes men to lose their gravitational pull. I feel a bit responsible for all these guys floating aimlessly in outer space. (but I guess that’s better than having them wander aimlessly on Earth) I’m relieved only by the fact that plenty of other women seem to be responsible for the same phenomenon.

Still, it seems rather dramatic to me, to choose to fall off the Earth so often. Is it that hard to just call a girl and let her know you’re no longer interested?

Case in point:
This last guy that I dated seemed like a real contender. Things were going so well, that I honestly believed that I would not have to date random men again for a good five or six months. It might not be forever, but at least I could be off the market for a little while.

He called just often enough. He planned dates well in advance. He made me dinner at his house so I could meet his dogs.

Meeting his dogs! Come on! That’s a big deal. That’s bigger than meeting his parents. Parents you only see on holidays. The dogs I may have to live with someday.

Then POOF! He fell off the Earth.

Being the woman that I am, I spent some time trying to figure out what I might have done wrong. You know, other than being sweet, listening to his stories about work and golf, meeting his friends with a charming smile and even better conversation. If he were on the same dates as I was on (and I believe that he was) he’d know beyond a doubt that I’m the ideal girlfriend.

But the poor guy fell off the face of the Earth.

Doesn’t matter. A man too dumb to know that he should continue dating me, is too dumb for me to continue to date.

The main reason I’m miffed… is that he dated a friend of mine earlier this year, and managed to fall off the Earth then too. That makes me “Just Another Girl” also known as “Nobody Special” and that’s what hurts.

So it all makes me wonder, what happens to these guys when they fall off the planet? Is there a safety net? Do they float? How to they return?

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